Do you have a smart, capable teen that can’t seem to get anything done? Psychologists in Highlands Ranch know that this is one of the biggest challenges that parents face when helping their older kids succeed academically, with friends, and as they start their journey into adulthood. If your teen seems disorganized, scatterbrained, unmotivated, or “all over the place,” keep reading to find out more about why and what might help.
Psychologists Explain Executive Function: Meet The “Secretary of the Brain”
Researchers have referred to executive function as the “secretary of the brain” for many years, because it is a fitting label. Just like a secretary of a Fortune 500 company spends hours each day making plans, checking details, sending reminders, making sure everyone is on task, following up with projects, putting on the finishing touches, and coordinating with everyone involved, you can imagine the executive function part of your or your child’s brain doing this very same thing. Some of us have great secretaries, some of us… the secretary goes out to lunch a lot! Executive function skills are not necessarily related to intelligence—think of the stereotypical “absent-minded professor” and you’re imagining a person who is very intelligent, but has poor executive functioning. Executive function deficits are a hallmark trait of ADHD—in fact, some researchers suggest it is the driving factor behind ADHD. If you’ve been doing your research with “Dr. Tiktok” lately, you may see a lot of association between Autism Spectrum Disorder and executive function as well. You should always visit a licensed psychologist to get an appropriate diagnosis for your child or yourself, because many symptoms can overlap.
Parenting Tools for Teens with Poor Executive Function
If you only remember one thing from today’s article, make it this: Executive function skills do not fully develop until a person is in their mid-20s. It turns out the car rental companies were right all along—our brains don’t really “grow up” until about 26 years old. It’s no coincidence that car accident rates, petty crimes, and reckless injuries take a sharp downturn after one hits their first century of life. If your teen just can’t seem to “get it together,” remember: his brain is not done growing. Just like you wouldn’t criticize a kid for not being tall enough to reach the top shelf (or tell them “try harder to be taller!”), you shouldn’t criticize a teen for not having fully-developed executive function skills. When your teen forgets chores… she probably really did forget! When your son double-books the calendar… that is to be expected. The first step as a parent is to remind yourself that your child isn’t doing this “on purpose” and that they are not “behind.” They are right where they need to be, learning and experiencing. You can help by sharing the “adulting” tools that work for you! Do you use a calendar or day planner? Notes on a whiteboard? Does your cell phone really help you keep track—or is it a void of “I know it’s in there somewhere?” Helping your child set up workarounds and structures can help to build those vital executive function skills—so you’re not interrupting your day to give your college student a wake-up call every morning! Encouraging downtime, rest, good sleep, and time outside in nature can also help to build executive function skills.
When To See A Psychologist in Highlands Ranch About Executive Functioning Challenges
As discussed above, it is normal for teens to struggle with executive functioning. But when are these struggles at a level that you should seek care? A good rule of thumb is to evaluate your child’s performance compared to their peers. Do your child’s friends forget to turn in homework sometimes? Most likely. Are they so behind that they are failing, and you are finding all the completed work stuffed under the bed? Not so much. Most kids (and adults) occasionally mix-up hang out dates or have to reschedule, but if your child is losing friends due to being “a flake” or “always late,” that’s a problem. When you see your teen having challenges that interrupt school, friends, or self-care, it’s time to work with a professional. Those who really “can’t get anything done” may benefit from specific treatment for specific conditions that affect executive function, like, ADHD or other mental health concerns that can look very similar (anxiety, trauma/PTSD, racing thoughts). Formal evaluation and treatment by a Child and Teen Psychologist in Littleton can get your family the right diagnosis and treatment to help everyone have a better time.
