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After going through a divorce, you may not be thrilled about coparenting. You’ve done your work  with couples therapists in Highlands Ranch, signed the kids up for therapy, and maybe even done some individual counseling on your own—but you’ve got years of coparenting to go. Is there anything that divorce recovery experts and psychologists in Highlands Ranch can suggest to make it easier? Keep reading to see how some psychologist-recommended tools can strengthen your coparenting game.

Encourage Your Child’s Relationship with the Opposite Parent

It sounds counterintuitive, but building up your child’s relationship with your coparent can make a big difference—in your coparenting relationship, and in your relationship with your child. While most parents know well enough to avoid disparaging or hurtful statements about the “other” parent, you can take this good advice a step further and really help your child build their relationship with that parent. For example, build your child up to have a great time with the other parent by reminding them of fun activities that are planned and reassurances that all their needs will be met. This is especially true if you had been the “default parent” throughout your marriage—your kids may need some time to adapt when it comes to asking for help with homework, talking about feelings, or solving problems. When they see you moving on in a healthy coparenting relationship, they know it is safe for them to strengthen the parent-child bond!

Child Psychologists Recommend Staying Positive When Having Discussions After Divorce

Your kids are smart, which makes a difficult divorce that much more difficult. As much as you may be diligent about not “trash-talking” the other parent, your kids may still pick up on your emotions. Stay positive, or at least neutral, to give your child the chance to enjoy their time, or to explore their feelings. Consider these two ways of reminding your child that they will be with the other parent this weekend:

“Hey kiddo, don’t forget to pack your favorite pillow! Parent A is so excited to have you for the first overnight! Are you excited to sleep in your cool bonus room?”

“Sorry kid. You have to go to Parent B’s house this weekend. I’ll miss you so much and I’ll be praying for your safety every second until I have you in my arms again!”

Aren’t you worried about going to Parent B’s house just by reading this?! Kids pick up on the same, so make sure to keep your feelings in check. If you can’t be positive (because it’s not genuine, because the child is clearly not happy, etc.), stick with neutral. Again, consider these two statements:

“How did the weekend with Parent A go?”

“Was this weekend with Parent B as awful as you thought it was going to be? Did Parent B do anything bad?”

Once again, the shift in tone sets the mood. When in doubt—don’t ask, listen. When you open space for your child or teen to talk, you let them express their emotions—not what they think you want to hear.

Try a Coparenting Class or Parent Counseling in Highlands Ranch

When you’ve tried all the standard advice and you just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye with your child’s other parent, it may be time for some professional counseling . Even if you hated, failed, or dropped out of couple’s counseling, keep in mind that parent counseling is much different! Instead of trying to repair the couple relationship, parent counseling after divorce focuses on just one part of your relationship with your ex—being the best parent possible to your kids! Find custom solutions to parenting problems and support with every day challenges when you call a Highlands Ranch psychologist skilled in parent counseling and coparenting issues.

Dr. Steve Lazarus has helped hundreds of families meet their goals and overcome obstacles—call today to set up an appointment to get your coparenting skills back on track!

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