What Is an “iPad Kid”?
Do you have an iPad Kid? Parents, peers, and child psychologists in Littleton see these little tech-addicted creatures roaming around everywhere, neck hunched to mirror the angle of the screen, thumbs at the ready, attention anywhere but in the room. From the toddler who can’t sit through dinner without a screen, to the kids who are “so bored” by anything that doesn’t fit the “beep boop” category, to the teenager who thinks she will “literally die” without access to socials, iPad kids are everywhere! Does your child show signs of phone addiction? How can you fight back without being the “mean parent” or “luddite” of your social circle? Keep reading!
Model Phone-Free Behaviors
When was the last time you went on a walk with your child—and no screens? How about the grocery store? Can you remember the last time you spent a full evening without phones, tablets, computers, or TVs? Many people can’t—even those of us old enough to remember the “before times” when screens stayed put and turned to snow after midnight. Guess what? Your kids pick up on this! Child psychologists hear kids’ sides of the story all the time—and almost every kid will argue “my mom and dad are on their phones all day! Why can’t I do the same?” You know the dangers of overdoing it with screens apply to adults just the same as they do to kids, so why not start with yourself? Show your child how it’s okay to turn the phone off or put it in a drawer. Go for a walk and try to get a little lost—how do you navigate without a phone? When you set “phone-free” times, make them apply to every member of the family equally.
Replace the Unwanted Behavior, Child Psychologist Style
Child psychologists typically agree that behaviors serve a purpose, meet a goal, or get a need met. What purpose, needs, or goals are screens helping your child meet? Are they boredom-busters? Social connection? Avoidance tools? Replace the screens with something else that would meet those needs, like an exciting new LEGO set, a playdate (in real life!) with best friend, a relaxation or calming tool to manage stress. Kids today are not spending nearly enough time outside—leading to social challenges, vitamin D deficiency, and even nearsightedness! For tweens and teens, phones are often the only place these days to get a little privacy—with some teens texting each other in a “side conversation” even while hanging out (so parents don’t overhear, of course!). Help your child replicate the social world by offering rides to playdates and hang-out times, getting them involved in team activities and sports where they can play with others, and giving them some privacy when they hang out with friends.
Be Honest and Realistic About Tech Drawbacks
Technology is a massive upgrade for most of humanity—our ancestors would have been amazed just at the amount of information on a single blog, much less the entire internet! But with that privilege comes drawbacks, and psychologists in Littleton know that technology comes with a major job for parents: helping your child learn, understand, and navigate those drawbacks. Modern technology can show you anything, and in exchange, all it wants is everything from you. Your attention, your desires, your “likes,” your eyes, your thumbs, your money, your engagement, your privacy, your emotional self-control, and eventually, your freedom. If that sounds dramatic, try prying a cell phone from the hands of a tantruming iPad kid! In all seriousness, help make screens less attractive to your child by pointing out those drawbacks. Is it really more fun to squint and crane your head to work on a puzzle game—or is it more fun for the family to assemble a giant puzzle, a few pieces at a time? Is endless “engagement” really the best, or would a trip to the park with some BFFs be better? Kids hate being controlled, so help them see how technology controls them—and not the other way around.
When to Talk to a Child Psychologist
Every family should have some rules and guidelines about screen use, but the best way to influence and shape your children’s screen time is by modeling, guiding, and providing other opportunities for fun and socialization. If your child is struggling to socialize with other kids in-person, if the end of screen time equals battle time, or if you’re worried that your child is becoming a dreaded iPad kid, consider working with a child psychologist in Littleton.
