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Why Limits Strengthen Your Relationship

by Steven Lazarus

Many couples come seeking couples therapy in Littleton with goals of getting closer and feeling the love they once felt in their relationship. So, when their couples therapist tells them each to set limits, it can be pretty confusing! However, limits are important for many reasons, and today we will review these reasons.

Limits Make You Consider Your Needs and Values

Just the process of setting limits is important, as it forces you to consider your needs and values. Do you value your hour of quiet time in the morning to reflect and revitalize? Do you need to get enough sleep at night to feel awake and productive the next day? When you start to set limits, you are asking yourself “how can I make my life better?” Of course, limits aren’t just about time or space—they can be limits on how you are treated or interacting with others.

Limits Battle Resentment

The challenge with resentment is that most people feel resentful when they have allowed others to walk all over them—even if the other person didn’t realize this was what was happening! Many people seek counseling in Highlands Ranch not only to change their relationship, but to change their feelings of resentment and frustration. Since nobody should be expected to be a mind-reader, setting limits makes these needs and values clear.

Distance Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder

If one partner wants to spend literally every moment together and the other is clawing for time alone, limits can be a good way to claim a little distance. Remind those you love that your limits help you to feel calmer, more present, and more loving to everyone in your life—so when you set limits, you are coming back to that relationship more engaged and active.

Ready to set effective limits today? Remember to start by looking inward, and if you need help making limits stick or navigating your relationship, consult with an expert in couples therapy today.


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